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Finding a home

Let me start out by saying there is a Spiritual Revival brewing. I think you can feel the static rising. A revival the likes our generation has never seen before. As a society we have been straying further and further from the word of God. First its small things that slowly become more and more acceptable and then in the last year the sense that as a Christian i no longer am able to have a voice in the conversation of morality. If you’re looking for a home, you will find it in God the Father.

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I want to be clear whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, etc I love you. I don’t care if you’re black white or purple, I love you. I dont care if you believe in two genders or fifty, i love you. it doesnt matter to me if you identify as gay, or if you believe that being gay is a choice, I love you. democrat or republican, i love you. I may not agree with you, and that is fine. Do you know why? because it is truly not up to me how you identify or what you believe. It really doesn’t affect me if you believe something other than what i do. Do i want you to think like me? Maybe. Do i want you to be Christian, yes. But thats because i truly want to share in the love of God with you. I want you to enjoy and revel in the peace God has to offer.

Love will win, is something i hear a lot in the media these days. i feel like the meaning behind this has almost been corrupted. Because Jesus is love. And if all you do is in his name YES Love will win. It doesnt matter what other people are doing, LOVE them. Why in the world would you want to show anything but Love, to the person who cut me inline at Best Buy, i love you. To the person who cut me off? i love you. Loving people and showing them kindness is my job. If i have a negative reaction or hatred to spew at them what does that do? it leaves us both hurt and upset. it does nothing for furthering the kingdom of God. If i show kindness their OWN guilt may or may not affect them, BUT you know what will affect me? the thankful loving peace of mind knowing that i didnt do anything to cause pain to SOMEONE else.

Ok before i lose you, i completely understand reading that and thinking “ugh another Bible Thumper” because do you know how many times over the course of my 32 years i have thought that EXACT same thing? literally toooo many times to even fathom. I would instantly roll my eyes and change the channel or radio station if it was something Christian on. I would roll my eyes and think how can anyone really believe like this? I mean im Christian and believe in God and Jesus but is all this other stuff necessary?

I would hear preachers say “if you only knew. if you only understood what God can do for you” and i would think they were fake.

But you know what? They were 100% right! something has awakened in me in the last few months that i didnt even know was there. God reached out and held me. I have tried and tried over the years to pray and turn to God but it all felt forced and like it wasnt for me. Recently i heard a minister say ” Just because you tried going to church doesnt mean you tried God” And that really spoke to me. It hit me that all the times i attempted to go to church but was turned off by the judgment, wasnt God it was just a bunch of other truly flawed individuals trying to find the peace as well.

I can very clearly tell you that i have found God. In all of his wonderful blessings and healing. The peace and love and everything those preachers talked about for all those years. And i know you must think the same thing i did all those years. But if you only knew! if you could only feel and grasp this sensation inside me you would want it too!

In the news recently we have been seeing more and more artists come out in support of Christianity and God. How these individuals who by all practical units of measurement “had it all” but found it rang hollow. That they were not truly living until they found God. And that all of the material world lost its allure, its luster, it failed to hold sway next to the Almighty. And what we have seen from the media, from the so called #wokenation , is hatred, lies, dismissal. For a group of people who claim to be accepting of everyone for who they are, they certainly do not seem to be able to accept that the key to happiness and contentment is God. That the only valid differences or ways to think are JUST LIKE THEM. I bear no ill will towards these people, because if they really knew what God could offer them they would want it too.

Im sure you know that the more time you spend trying to do the right thing, the harder the world comes at you. If you try to work on your marriage, have you noticed how it seems like it gets worse? maybe youve tried praying for patience, but seemingly all you get is more opportunities to fail? Thats how its MEANT to be, you start focusing on pulling out and correcting something but you notice its going to be work. think of it this way, you keep shoving junk in your junk drawer in the kitchen (midwest thing?) or maybe the back of your closet… then one time you think nothing else is going to fit in here. I need to clean it out. (like in marriage, issues keep getting pushed aside, ignored, suppressed, until you explode and think you cannot do it any longer, you can either walk away or try to fix it, we all know walking away would be easier than spending time addressing it all) back to the junk, so you start pulling everything out, the birthday candles half used, the empty carton of chalk, the 52 cards half bent, the dried up pens, the dull pencils, the wine opener, the scissors, etc… none of which probably belong in that drawer. You begin to become overwhelmed with the new mess laying on the counter, where does this stuff go, why is it even here ( much like marriage, why am i mad about this, why didnt we talk about this before, why have i let it get to this point?) so the initial time is spent overwhelmed seemingly that you cannot handle it all, that there is too much to fix.

This is what it is like when you give over something to God, things that maybe never bothered us before begin to whisper into your ear. Maybe its the way you’ve been dressing, or the language you’ve been using. Suddenly you feel you have so much to fix all at the same time. its certainly easier to walk away and go back to ignoring it right? but deep down we know nothing is getting better. Facing the issues and handing them over to God is probably one of the hardest things to do. We humans LOVE our sense of CONTROL, its fake we know, but it makes us feel better to think WE can do something. But you know what? WE cannot do anything, GOD does it.

I can say that i am probably as amazed as anyone at my turn of heart. I know my mom sure is and i honestly have never been more at peace with myself. I know that i cannot do it alone.

NOW onto what ive been up to. I have been doing a daily devotional style book called COPY BIBLE GENESIS 1-9 by Springer, and COPY BIBLE RUTH by Springer. This has completely changed my commitment and time with God. I don’t feel forced or stuck, in fact i find that i cannot put it down. The old saying about not needing anything but God really has a new meaning, bc i can spend hours up at night doing this and want to wake up and do more. Eating, snacking, watching TV hold none of the comforts they once did. I used to use those as a place filler, to combat boredom. but it was like throwing junk in that drawer. It didn’t do anything for me and if anything just put off the issues for the next day.

I am starting a bible study with the Genesis Book, if you’re interested you can follow along each month. I will be posting Daily Verses from the books. There are questions and space to reflect in the book as well. I have found that more than the actual verse i read for the day, the true benefit has come from answering the questions on each verse, and the cross references.

If your here thinking But why? my only answer is but why not? best case? it helps, worst case? it does nothing and youre no worse off>>>

all of this to say that i FINALLY have found a home! i am at home with GOD and no matter what comes against me it will not prosper bc God is on my side and no one can succeed when my faith is in HIM!

Head over to my instagram account @thetinypinkclover_ to follow along